The Wedding

            When it came to wedding venues, Appaloosa Plains did not have the greatest selection. Basically, I could marry the old man at the house, the festival grounds, or at a park that had recently been built. It was designed for weddings, which made it tacky in and of itself.

            Aubrey agreed to come with me to scope the place out, in exchange for me letting her off the hook. She’d been getting into trouble with Mom over her bad grades. They really were terrible.

            “I don’t know about this place, Francis. It’s open to any kind of aerial attack.”

“Who’s going to attack us?”

“I dunno. Birds? Oh hey look! A bar!”

            While my sister scurried about, I took a seat and observed the wedding arch. It was a nice enough view, provided that everyone actually sat for the ceremony. I tried to envision Finch and me exchanging rings. 

            That’s when the blood running in my veins kicked into overdrive and I swore I could hear my heart pumping. The image of his wrinkled hand gently clutching mine refused to let go of my mind. Finch had slid rings up the fingers of several other people, but I hardly knew anything about that. I didn’t know anything about him! What if he was more than just some jerk with a ton of money? Maybe he deserved better than me exploiting his final years.

            When Aubrey took the chair next to me, my worries had shifted into a flurry of quick escape strategies. There didn’t seem to be a way that I could call the whole thing off without appearing as if I’d lost. Her simple observation of, “you can see the port-a-potties from here,” was a welcome distraction. Having escaped my sudden panic for a quick second allowed me to mentally take a step back. My plan cleared again.

            There was no such thing as a good person, and life didn’t owe anybody a damn thing. If Finch was foolish enough to marry me, then that was his problem. And it wasn’t like I had my heart set on making our marriage horrible. I planned to treat him well enough.

            Tentative plans for a wedding date were several days away, as I wanted to have it on a day off from work. This meant that Finch came over frequently as a visitor throughout the week. He formally introduced himself to Mom before I could run out and stop him one night.

            By the time I got to them, it was way too late. She’d already seen his age and probably pieced it all together. Well, she had probably done all of that before, but still. It was weird. “Oh hey Mom!” I interrupted whatever they were talking about with a forced casual tone. “I see you’ve met Finch.”

“Yes, the man marrying you. Is it strange that I have never spoken to him before this conversation?”

I didn’t get a chance to answer. “Once again, I would like to apologize for my blatant rudeness towards you. I should have formally introduced myself the moment I began courting your son.” I had to chuckle at that. Like he was really courting me. Such delusions.

            “You see,” Finch continued. “I’m afraid that I’ve been much too caught up in Francis. He is quite the fascinating young man.”

Being complimented in front of my mom was not something I had ever thought to prepare myself for. I feigned light embarrassment and hoped that it was the correct choice. Not that she noticed anyway; she was too busy being blunt.

“He is much younger than you.”

I expected Finch to be unable to reply to that, but he did, and easily too. “I was uncomfortable with the thought at first. I have come to know him past his age and can confidently say that I love your son. I wouldn’t wish to step between family though, and so if you disapprove of this marriage, I will step away from it.”

“I do not have any qualms about the wedding. My husband was an older man.”

            Mom and Finch discussed the upcoming celebration with me, each expecting me to plan the whole thing, while they just stood waiting for answers. Which venue and what day and how formal? It didn’t end until Aubrey pulled Finch away to share a secret. “My brother wants to marry you next to some toilets. Isn’t that thoughtful?” she loudly hushed. Coming from anyone else, I would have thought that was a jibe.

            While awkward conversations about marriage with mom were a downside about having a fiancé, I quickly learned of some positive aspects. Like grossing out boring Gloria.

            In the days before the wedding, I took time to visit the gym. Not only did I need to stay in shape for work, but I wanted to be a model trophy husband. Well, maybe not model. Good enough for Finch though.

            I wasn’t the only one with romantic adventures on the horizon. Mom went on a date with her baby daddy—I mean boyfriend. And my sisters attended prom. They didn’t bring dates, but Gloria somehow found one there. And Aubrey was too distracted by the potential of aliens to care that she’d been ditched.

            Freddie’s surprised me most of all. He went on a blind date with some woman of the town, and I guess things got pretty hot and heavy. I had really thought he’d be satisfied with Marcie. In what world does some loser like my brother find multiple attractive females?

            All of the distractions of my family’s love lives made time go by faster. Soon I was holding my phone, ready to send out invitations while taking care of a few mundane chores.

            Of course Freddie snickered at me that entire morning.

            The only way I got away from him was by taking a nap, and Mom’s loud typing disrupted that fairly quick. When I asked her why the hell she was doing that in my room, she answered that she was afraid I might run away. “Responsibility has never been a strong asset of yours.” I had the feeling that she was also nervous that something might happen to me. The witch hadn’t threatened me since our last talk, so I had to assume she was bothering Mom instead.

            When it was finally time to head to the park, I was surprised to find that I was not the first guest. Far from it. My whole family and work colleagues had beat me. Finch waited impatiently by the entrance. He looked irritated. He was unclean, which stuck out to me.

            I let my fiancé be, hoping he’d wash himself up, and asked Freddie to take some pictures with me. “You’d really like for us to have a photo together? You’re not just going to pull some prank?”

“Nope. Thought we could have a memento or whatever.”

He didn’t say it. I knew he was thinking something along the lines of ‘even after I’ve been such a jerk.’ That’s exactly how I wanted him to feel, killed by kindness.

            I lurked off to the side for a while, watching the guests have what looked to be a good time. At some point, Finch had cleaned himself. He seemed to be enjoying himself on the dance floor with my family, Watcher only knows why. Their whole aversion to the typical ‘ceremony first party second’ was amusing to a degree, but when it started to get darker, I called their attention to the main event.

            We had to stand up in front for what felt like hours while everyone fumbled to find a seat. Finch wanted to talk, to exchange pleasantries about the future and say how grateful he was to have finally found a family. I’d figured he’d had one. I didn’t exactly feel like talking. Uninvited nerves were seeping through my pours, so I concentrated on the useless imbeciles trying to figure out how a chair works. It’s not like they use them every day or anything!

            Finally, the sheep shuffled together and settled down, with the exception of Aunt Odie. I forced myself to look at Finch. His old face was so new to me that I could always find something I hadn’t noticed before, like a wrinkle or the color of his eyes. I started to recite the wedding speech I had memorized off the internet earlier that morning. Something boring about love and respect and cherishing whatever time we were allotted. The more I spoke, the less anxious I felt. Having the words in my head, knowing how the speech would fall, it made me stabilize.

            And seeing Freddie cry about his little brother getting hitched to an old guy made me perk up too.

            Finch and I exchanged rings, nicer ones that he’d bought. I briefly calculated how much I could sell mine for after he died.

            Then he was in my arms and it was all over. Marriage didn’t make me feel any different at all. It was just as I expected and nothing more, a fancy title. In my head, I cursed myself for letting some tacky ceremony almost get the best of me.

            I booked it to the buffet first, determined to get the biggest plate of turkey that I could manage.

            The family eventually filtered in. My cousin Greg asked me to sit with him and his mom. I declined. By that time my plate was cleared and it would have served no purpose to converse with the teenager.

            I did, however, take a seat next to my husband while he finished, for appearance purposes. I could hardly wait to dissect his bank account. Some for me while he’s living, the rest for after he kicks the bucket.

            Finch wished to speak to my Mom, so I joined my teenaged sisters at the bar for a drink. It was funny to watch Aubrey be served juice without an ID, even funnier when she was so surprised that she didn’t know what to do. I convinced her to take a sip, which led to the glass being thrown and her running around shouting that it was poison.

            Time for the first dance arrived. Impatiently waiting for Finch, I accidentally slipped and let my true nature show through.

            Nobody seemed to notice or care, so I slowly circled with my geriatric ball and chain for a few songs. He stepped on my feet often. I had thought someone so proper would know all about the art of dance.

            For most of the dance, the photo booths beckoned me. I didn’t know exactly why, but I carried a fascination for those machines. It didn’t take much thought for me to realize that maybe it wasn’t just the pictures that interested me.

            They could probably be used for other things.

            I pulled my husband inside one with me. Once the curtain shut, I embarrassingly realized that I had no idea what to do. I seemed to have the urging hormones of a young male, but lacked the knowledge and practice to know how to put them to good use.

            Finch surprised me by taking charge. His long life full of experiences proved useful for something.

            After we had finished, the sound of pictures printing excited me.

            Actually seeing them though… well let’s just say I hadn’t exactly known what went into woohoo until seeing those. It’d be hard to look at Finch the same way again.

            The family, the husband, and I returned home. It was late on a school night. Everyone shuffled off to their bedrooms and Finch to mine. I stayed up for some time and ran into the bumbling ghost of Dad.

            I humored the specter, causally telling it about my marriage to a man, thinking it really wouldn’t be able to understand.

            Instead, I was left seeing a ghostly version of parental disappointment.