Mother Kisser

 

            “Issy?” JB called from the other room while I washed up our dishes from dinner. Or was it lunch? Maybe a linner. How was I supposed to know what time it was? Everything started to become really disorientated for me since I started to spend so much time underground.

I’d totally lucked out! I found a bunch of old junk—“It wasn’t junk!”—tucked away that I was able to hawk for a few weeks’ worth of bills. I could finally take a break from strumming in the park and enjoy some quality time playing house with JB.

“Yeah?”

“Isn’t it close to being time for your family reunion?”

“So?” I asked, barging back into the main room.

 

“Shouldn’t you attend it? You made it sound as though it was important to your mom that you attend.”

“Yeah she really wants me to.” I leaned in for a kiss, really itching for a good make out session, but he ducked it. “Here’s the problem: I don’t want to go. Don’t you want me to stay down here with you?”

 

“You know I love our time together, but I still think you should go. After all, you are the leader of the family now, aren’t you?”

“Not really, I’m just the heir…” I started to mumble but stopped myself. Leader? Nobody’d called me that before. It sounded good though. And I was kinda the leader, wasn’t I? “Maybe I should go. Will you be okay down here by yourself?”

“I always am!” he beamed.

 

 

            Somebody, Mom thought it was Uncle Freddy, organized some lame family reunion party at the boring club uptown. In the limited exposure I’d had to her that week, Mom’d strongly encouraged me to go. It sounded so awful, and I had a bad feeling or whatever.

            JB had wanted me to go though too, so I’d just have to toughen up and survive a few hours with my relatives.

 

            It looked like it was late afternoon by the sun outside, but my family were all still clad in pajamas when I went up to announce that I was going. I had to sit there for, like, thirty minutes and wait for my brothers to change. “Are you gonna wear that?” I asked Mom with a laugh.

“Oh, I’m not going.”

“And I’m staying here too,” Claudey threw at me, defiant look in his eyes. Mom elbowed him.

I shrugged. “Whatever.”

 

            So the place ended up being pretty much dead. At first, it was just Hans, James, and I. I pulled out my guitar, ready to entertain my tardy family whenever they showed up.

 

 

            James’ cool factor went up like eight hundred notches in my book when he went behind the bar and took advantage of the fact that there were no adults around. He was surprisingly good at making iced juices.

 

            Hans lamely danced while James and I drank. He was totally out of his comfort zone.

 

 

 

            Two of my cousins finally showed up. Or great cousins or second cousins or something!

 

            And then I learned that one of my biggest fans was dating the girl, Kylie.

 

            Only one more relative ever showed. I felt blessed by somebody for the genetics I’d managed to snag.

            When it was clear that the whole thing was a flop, I announced to my brothers, “I’m outta here! You two coming with me?”

“Shouldn’t you wait until the juice wears off first?” Hans asked, trying to keep his worried voice discreet. I was so bored that I’d forgotten that I’d even stolen a few swigs from James’ mix. I didn’t feel weird at all, so I just told them I was fine and walked off.

 

 

            I decided to go into the house first to tell Mom what a fiasco the reunion turned out to be. I wanted to rub it in her face. What I walked in on… well I didn’t expect it. Dad did though. I was still waving, trying to register what was in front of me, while he screamed a frighteningly long list of curse words in my head.

 

 

            “M-Mom?” I was eventually able to gasp out.

 

            They separated as soon as they realized I was there.

 

 

            “How did it go, H-Honey?” Mom had the balls to ask me like nothing had happened. What the hell had happened?! Mom had been kissing my brother! Her son! Watcher! What kind of disgusting crap was my family into?

“I knew that lousy bastard was going after her! Narissa, protect your father’s pride! Get rid of him!”

What I had seen was so gross, so unbelievably gross, that I felt like I could cry. My eyes even started to sting. “What the hell is going on?”

“It’s not what it looks like!”

“Narissa, you should just stay the hell out of our business. It’s bad enough you took the money and the house. The least you could do is keep your mouth shut.”

 

 

“Claude! You’re freaking disgusting! That’s our mom! How can you shove your tongue down your own mom’s mouth? This is like… like that one thing.”

“Oedipus Rex? Watcher, you are so dumb! Why did he pick you?”

“Shut up!” I screeched at him, shaking with rage. “You don’t get to insult me, Mother Kisser!”

 

 

"Like she said, it’s not what it looks like. Trish isn’t my mom. She’s not even your mom,” Claude said like it would reassure me.

“You need to shut up!”

Mom had the audacity to look upset. “I will not have you speak to your brother that way.”

 

 

“Oh like you can tell me what to do! Like either one of you can!” I yelled at both of them. “I don’t care if you aren’t actually Claudey’s mom. You raised him like he was yours! This is so fucked up!”

 

 

            A storm I’d never felt before tore threw me. It ripped out full grown trees and uprooted houses. It wasn’t going to stop until I did something. “You really can’t tell me what to do. This is my house. My money. My family. I don’t need you guys around.

 

            “I can’t even look at you. I just wish you two would go away!”

And then my wish came true. An unknown magic released in me, and I banished my mom and my brother from the family estate.

 

 

Duties

           I couldn’t spend all of my time in Daddy’s shed. As much as I’d have liked to just goof around with JB all day, I still had to earn a living. I could barely afford to pay bills, never putting them in the mail before the last minute. Even with hours playing for tips in the park, it was kinda rough. At least I had my amazing fortress to look at though. I sorta loved the way it overtook the landscape. Sometimes I heard other people gossiping about my estate being trashy, but those people probably lived in two bedroom little shacks. They didn’t know what it was like to be the daughter of Francis DeMarco.
 

            I didn’t usually have a lot of time to think like that though. I was building up a crazy fan base. Gotta concentrate on the rockin!

“For the last time, you’re not rock, punk, or even grunge.”
 

            When I did have time for JB I used it for flirting
 

And cooking.

            Okay, so I didn’t really cook any of our meals per say, more like magically created them, but still. JB enjoyed them. And I enjoyed all the compliments he bathed me in.

            There were sparks growing between the two of us! Every time I saw him, he let me push our friendship a little further.
 

 

            Until the day he finally asked me to be his girlfriend and then sealed the deal with our first kiss. Yes! I was finally dating someone. Finally someone’s girlfriend! He made all my teenaged fantasies a reality.

            The family, the dead family I should say, didn’t really approve though.
 

            What did anyone of those oldies know? I was in love!

 

            I was so obsessed with my first relationship that it took me several days to notice that Claude was different.
 

            “Hey, you look old now!”

“Uh thanks for noticing?”

“Cool. So when are you gonna get a job or get out of here, Claudey?”

“I believe I will be staying around here for quite a while. There are things here that need attending. My attending.” Claude laughed like a maniacal idiot and I just shrugged it off. Brothers are such weirdoes!

Yikes! Once again I am sorry for the terrible lack of updates! And I’m also sorry to post for the first time in weeks with these two tiny chapters. The next one will be longer though. :)

  

A Stylist and a Maid

            “Let’s see here Jellybean, what style do you see yourself in? High fashion? Casual sporty? Dark and mysterious alternative?”

“I suppose I’ve never thought about that before.”

“We’ve gotta get you out of that suit though. People are going to think you’re a pedo if you walk around the streets in that getup!”

“I’ll leave it in your hands. Whatever you think would best suit me.”

“Yay!” I cheered and clapped my hands. The rummage through my family’s spare clothes began and I didn’t really turn up much. At least, not much that would fit him. I just had to look harder! I’d already spent so much time working at that Watcher-awful mullet. The right combination of clothes had to be there.

            Eventually I settled on an old pair of Han’s jeans and some jacket that probably belonged to Claudey or Dad. Or maybe Dad’s husband.
 

 

            “Well Jellybean, I did the best with what I had.” I rubbed my neck and examined him sitting on the bed. Truthfully, he was pretty hot now that he had cleaned up. I’d snuck a few peeks of his body while he changed—you know, just to make sure the potion didn’t rip him off at all—and I was impressed!

“Hey Issy? There is one change I’d like to suggest.”

“Oh yeah? What’s that?”

“Perhaps, now that I’m a human, you could find a more suitable name than Jellybean?”
 

            Dad still nagged me about it being best that JB lived down in the cellar while we were teenagers. He had the place set up well enough for someone to survive (why I had no clue), but it was boring as heck! Still, we made due, finding fun wherever we could.
 

            I could tell he was sad whenever I had to go, but that made the reunions sweeter.
 

            Meanwhile, the rest of my family was as oblivious as ever. They went about their days not knowing about my secret living down below.

            Spending more time with JB in the cellar, meant that things were going to hell in my house. Nobody was cleaning anything! It’s as if they thought I, the heir, was some kind of maid.
 

            “Please Narissa, could you just use your magic and get rid of this mess?”

 

            I supposed I could give them a helping hand.




 

An Old Potion

            “So what’s this stuff Grams? And how did it get here?”

“The witch was gracious enough to assist with relocating it. That is, once we tracked it down. Seems your father never found time enough to organize my personal belongings.”

“It wasn’t a problem, Aspen. I’m curious if it’ll work or not.”

“Okay guys, this still isn’t answering my first question. What the heck is it?”

“It is a potion dear. One I created before my timely departure. I believe it has the power to give true life to imaginary friends. Whether or not it will work on Jellybean is the question.”

“So it’ll turn Jellybean human?” I asked, trying to keep my hopes down. “That’d be really freaking awesome!” I could hear Jellybean’s padded shoes walking toward me. I reached for the sparkling vial. “Let’s see if this works!”

“No.” Dad said so firmly that it made me jump.

            I turned to Jellybean, ready to grab the potion and defy Daddy. He couldn’t always tell me what to do. I really wanted my friend to be human! Then I’d never have to wonder again. “What is that, Issy?”

I opened my mouth to tell him it was something he’d have to chug down, but I was interrupted. “Don’t let him have it in the middle of the house, for crying out loud Narissa! What if it works?” I stayed quiet, waiting for him to explain to me what the problem was. Daddy sighed. “Your mother has a hard enough time blocking out the bit of magic you know, what will she do if she sees a boy suddenly appear? And I don’t think she’d allow you to keep him.”

“But it’s my house,” I whined. Jellybean waited patiently for a response meant for him.

“You don’t want to make things any messier than they are. I’m gone; stay on her good side.”

“Then what do you want me to do?”

“Ask it to turn into a doll.”

I turned away from my friend for a minute. “But he gets really offended whenever I ask him to do that.”

“Listen to me, Narissa.”

            I faced Jellybean, super pumped to hopefully be able to see him as a real person soon. But I tried really hard not to let that excitement show, because I had to ask him to do something he didn’t like. I tried my best to look sympathetic or whatever when asking.  He still looked really upset and slumped his head.

            “What is he doing? He should heed your every command!”

“Relax Dad. He just needs time to get over it.”

            “See?” I went to go look for him a couple hours later. Predictably, I found the doll that I sorta remembered chewing on as a baby sitting up by my bed.

            I picked Jellybean up, carefully resting him against me, but not so that he’d be pushed up on my boobs. That’d be awkward to talk about later!

“Take him to my shed.”

“But you’re the one who yelled at me for going in there!”

“Just do it.”

            “Whatever,” I muttered under my breath. The place still looked as rad as it had when I was a disobedient child, even if it was sorta creepy as hell.  

“Make him return.”

            I sat Jellybean on the middle of the floor. It took a few minutes of me begging to convince him to spring back to life.

            I tried to apologize, but the jerk wouldn’t even let me do that much.

            “C’mon, I’m trying to do something nice for you.”

“Issy, I am not sure I can believe that after what you asked me to do. You know how I feel about reverting back into a doll.”

            I held my palm open toward him. “Don’t you trust me?” He had to think about it before giving me an answer. Finally he took my arm and then my hand.

“Yes.”

            “Then chug this down!”

            “This smells terrible,” he commented.

“It’s gotta be really old. My grandma made it.” Jellybean gave me a look of disbelief. There was a chorus of voices in my head shouting at me to shut up.

            I think I could feel the magic before he could. The bubbling purple that overtook his body seemed to surprise him.

            When it finally began to clear, a new face was staring back at me. I’d had such high hopes. They started to crash once I made out the mullet.