Scrambling for Simoleons

            My toilet clogged one night and there was nobody to plunge it but me. I never thought I’d have to face such a hardship. The curse was bringing me all sorts of nasty obstacles to overcome.

            After finally getting the toilet to flush without overflowing, I broke down and changed into my heavy outerwear. Nights were so chilly. It seemed as if just days before I was battling off against the heat. I’d have to earn enough to buy two more walls before winter. I nearly had enough, and if I chose to sell off my renewing collection of spirits I could make it, but I didn’t want to have to do that again. At least, not if I could help it.

            A call came from Elliot and I chose to ignore it. As much fun as bedding him was, I grew frustrated with his lack of ability to get me pregnant. He’d failed that day at the festival and he continued to fail over the weekend and through the first part of the following week.

            After my coat had warmed me enough, I finally settled down into bed for the night. It did not take long for an upset tremble in my stomach to wake me up.

            I ran to my freshly plunged toilet, barely making it in time before my vomit came rushing out. Had he finally done it? I hadn’t eaten anything strange, just cold soup and cereal, so my bets were on my being pregnant. Hopefully, I could complete one more night of work before being forced on maternity leave. I really needed the extra simoleons to prepare.

            The next morning I went to the library to read up on logic some more. I hadn’t touched a book since my frustrations with the skill before, but if I wanted to earn faster, then I needed to get busy on my learning.

            Before finishing the second chapter, I was interrupted by a strange feeling in my gut. All of a sudden I was caught up in a whirlwind, coming out as a visibly pregnant woman. Somehow Dr. Allison was calling me within minutes to tell me to take four days off from work.

            Four days?! How in the world would I be able to afford the things necessary for an infant without an income? I still had to pay bills and that wouldn’t leave me with much. Even if I turned in every single spirit in my collection, it would barely be enough to cover the walls.

            Then the realization that I would soon be having a baby sunk in through my skull. I had never considered I would be forced to raise a child without at least two world-famous nannies to help. Who would feed it and change its diaper? I certainly didn’t have any experience with those things. I began to panic and later found that I had fainted right in the middle of the library.

            I hadn’t calmed down any when I managed to get to my feet. I felt that I would be physically ill, and then I realized that was very much true. I rushed to the restroom.

            While cleaning myself up some, I received a phone call. “Elliot, you’d best take this baby off my hands!” I blurted into the receiver. The poor soul on the other end stammered.

            The person who turned out not to be Elliot told me that I’d been chosen for a social experiment. If I completed it, they were willing to pay me. I beamed when I heard all I had to do was get to know someone. That was so easy to fake!

            I charged downstairs and started chatting with the first person I saw. The busty woman told me about her singing career and then yammered on about more personal things. I nodded and smiled as though I were listening. When I finished, I headed to the science facility and collected my simoleons.

            The social experiment gave me the push I needed to be able to build two new walls and a door. Now I wouldn’t have to worry about waking up as an ice cube.

            While eating dinner on the toilet in my significantly improved shed, I made a mental list of all the things I’d need for the baby. It was already so selfish, spending all my simoleons before it was even born.

            I wandered around for several hours in a downpour, hoping to find some sort of expensive jewel or rare plant that I could sell. I found a bird, but it still wasn’t enough for all the improvements I needed.

            It was inevitable. I had to hand over my spirits to Dr. Allison yet again. And this time I brought in every last one in my possession.

            The baby better be worth it.

            In the morning, I spent most of my new income on upgrading my shed.

            I found a used crib for the brat to sleep in when it was born.

            I also purchased a sink and a counter.

            Finally I could take care of the ring of bowls that were building up on the floor. Hopefully that would fix my fly infestation as well. And the counter would come in handy for when I found someone to prepare meals for me.

            As the pregnancy wore on, I gussied myself up frequently. I didn’t think it possible, but I felt even uglier in that body as the baby weight piled on further.

            If it wasn’t for the excruciating pain, I would have cheered when labor kicked me.

            I managed to get myself to the hospital in time to deliver the baby. It was a girl and I named her Aspen. Aspen DeMarco. I knew she was going to be just another obstacle, and one I really did not look forward to. On the cab ride home, I received an email from the witch that read: Congratulations on having a healthy daughter. I considered sending back the simple words “Shut up,” but found myself too exhausted to bother.