What Maternal Instincts?

            “What am I to do with a child? I couldn’t possibly bring her back to my old life. There’d be too many questions, especially of the paternity.”

“You’re right,” the witch casually said in my head. One would think that I’d be entirely used to having an eye kept on me, but I still took in a sharp breath when she responded. “But you shouldn’t worry about your old life. You have a long way to go.”

“Well, then what’s next? What is Step Four?”

“Are we still really doing this step thing? I don’t know, raise your kid? Have more? It’s up to you, really.”

“But when can I go back?”

“I’ve already told you. I will only return you to your ‘former glory’ when you’ve earned it. One of your heirs must be as wealthy and attractive as you once were, and then I will let you decide whether or not you want to resurrect yourself into a vapid celebrity again.”

I looked at Aspen and sighed. “So you’re really going to let me live out a life like this?” I waited for a reply and didn’t get one. “Like a freak? A monster?” Still, no response crawled through my head. Sore, I couldn’t stand around any longer, so I went inside and put Aspen down in the crib.

            Aspen developed the nasty habit of crying just when I settled into sleep.

            Sometimes she needed a bottle or a sloppy diaper change, but usually she cried for no reason. It was as if she knew I did not really want her and was revolting against me.

            That thought was just insanity though. Brought on by the several days I was trapped inside the shack with her, nothing to do while on maternity leave. All I begun to look forward to was getting hungry enough to attempt to learn how to make a decent salad.

            I found myself following a raccoon around the yard one night. I watched it knock over my trash can and roll around in filth.

            I would have stalked it longer, but the jerk ran off my property. The fleabag did not warrant paying seventy-five simoleons to a brat for babysitting.

            A package came in the mail one morning. It was addressed to Aspen, and since I had told no one of her except the doctor and nurses at the hospital, I assumed it was from the witch. I opened it and saw a freakish doll.

            I let her have it though, since it was able to keep her quiet for a few hours.

Scrambling for Simoleons

            My toilet clogged one night and there was nobody to plunge it but me. I never thought I’d have to face such a hardship. The curse was bringing me all sorts of nasty obstacles to overcome.

            After finally getting the toilet to flush without overflowing, I broke down and changed into my heavy outerwear. Nights were so chilly. It seemed as if just days before I was battling off against the heat. I’d have to earn enough to buy two more walls before winter. I nearly had enough, and if I chose to sell off my renewing collection of spirits I could make it, but I didn’t want to have to do that again. At least, not if I could help it.

            A call came from Elliot and I chose to ignore it. As much fun as bedding him was, I grew frustrated with his lack of ability to get me pregnant. He’d failed that day at the festival and he continued to fail over the weekend and through the first part of the following week.

            After my coat had warmed me enough, I finally settled down into bed for the night. It did not take long for an upset tremble in my stomach to wake me up.

            I ran to my freshly plunged toilet, barely making it in time before my vomit came rushing out. Had he finally done it? I hadn’t eaten anything strange, just cold soup and cereal, so my bets were on my being pregnant. Hopefully, I could complete one more night of work before being forced on maternity leave. I really needed the extra simoleons to prepare.

            The next morning I went to the library to read up on logic some more. I hadn’t touched a book since my frustrations with the skill before, but if I wanted to earn faster, then I needed to get busy on my learning.

            Before finishing the second chapter, I was interrupted by a strange feeling in my gut. All of a sudden I was caught up in a whirlwind, coming out as a visibly pregnant woman. Somehow Dr. Allison was calling me within minutes to tell me to take four days off from work.

            Four days?! How in the world would I be able to afford the things necessary for an infant without an income? I still had to pay bills and that wouldn’t leave me with much. Even if I turned in every single spirit in my collection, it would barely be enough to cover the walls.

            Then the realization that I would soon be having a baby sunk in through my skull. I had never considered I would be forced to raise a child without at least two world-famous nannies to help. Who would feed it and change its diaper? I certainly didn’t have any experience with those things. I began to panic and later found that I had fainted right in the middle of the library.

            I hadn’t calmed down any when I managed to get to my feet. I felt that I would be physically ill, and then I realized that was very much true. I rushed to the restroom.

            While cleaning myself up some, I received a phone call. “Elliot, you’d best take this baby off my hands!” I blurted into the receiver. The poor soul on the other end stammered.

            The person who turned out not to be Elliot told me that I’d been chosen for a social experiment. If I completed it, they were willing to pay me. I beamed when I heard all I had to do was get to know someone. That was so easy to fake!

            I charged downstairs and started chatting with the first person I saw. The busty woman told me about her singing career and then yammered on about more personal things. I nodded and smiled as though I were listening. When I finished, I headed to the science facility and collected my simoleons.

            The social experiment gave me the push I needed to be able to build two new walls and a door. Now I wouldn’t have to worry about waking up as an ice cube.

            While eating dinner on the toilet in my significantly improved shed, I made a mental list of all the things I’d need for the baby. It was already so selfish, spending all my simoleons before it was even born.

            I wandered around for several hours in a downpour, hoping to find some sort of expensive jewel or rare plant that I could sell. I found a bird, but it still wasn’t enough for all the improvements I needed.

            It was inevitable. I had to hand over my spirits to Dr. Allison yet again. And this time I brought in every last one in my possession.

            The baby better be worth it.

            In the morning, I spent most of my new income on upgrading my shed.

            I found a used crib for the brat to sleep in when it was born.

            I also purchased a sink and a counter.

            Finally I could take care of the ring of bowls that were building up on the floor. Hopefully that would fix my fly infestation as well. And the counter would come in handy for when I found someone to prepare meals for me.

            As the pregnancy wore on, I gussied myself up frequently. I didn’t think it possible, but I felt even uglier in that body as the baby weight piled on further.

            If it wasn’t for the excruciating pain, I would have cheered when labor kicked me.

            I managed to get myself to the hospital in time to deliver the baby. It was a girl and I named her Aspen. Aspen DeMarco. I knew she was going to be just another obstacle, and one I really did not look forward to. On the cab ride home, I received an email from the witch that read: Congratulations on having a healthy daughter. I considered sending back the simple words “Shut up,” but found myself too exhausted to bother.

Step Three

            The formalwear the witch stuck me with was like wearing carpet, but it was much better than those awful jeans. My change in hair surprised me. At first, I thought she’d been merciful and given me a chance to have a less raggedy cut. Then I noticed how pronounced my ears were and became sure that was the haircut’s intent. No matter, it was still a slight improvement. I felt the silly need to gussy up before I adventured out to find the man to complete step two.

            “So witchy,” I said out loud, patting the potion I tucked away in my pocket. “I’m about to complete your request. What’s next?”

“You’re a cheater,” she sighed into my head.

I nearly laughed. “You never said I couldn’t have a little help.”

“Step Three, obviously, is to conceive a child.”

Well, that would be easy enough.

            I ventured to my go-to place in the hick town. Just as I was coming through the gate, I saw a perfect candidate. I followed him into the restroom building and crept in for a closer look. He was tall and strong and had gorgeous eyes. I knew I’d found him.

            I whipped out the potion and threw it down at his feet. He was about to become one of the luckiest men in the world; he was about to romance Vienna DeMarco.

            A glowing blue fog came between us for a few moments. I could feel my brain being littered with useless facts about the man, Elliot Parr. He was quite the heartbreaker around town, although he was a bit on the nutty side.

            I waved like the close chums we now were and he snarled at me. It was possible he knew exactly what I’d done to him, but I didn’t care much as long as he did his duty.

            To test the waters, I broke into his personal space. He didn’t push me away, so I took the opportunity to whisper in his ear. “I have an idea of how to put those hay bales outside to good use.”

            Then he really did push me a bit.

            “You’re insane!” he shouted. “What did you throw at me?”

“You needn’t be so rude to your best friend! I just thought we could turn the heat up a few notches.”

“I don’t know you! You’re… you’re some kind of freak!”

            Fed up with how I’d given up my floating spirits for a piece of junk potion, I had the nerve to give him a quick slap. Nobody needed to speak to me like that. “I am Vienna DeMarco!”

            Next thing I know, he’s groping me passionately in front of a crowd of festival goers. Maybe getting him angry was the heat he needed? It didn’t matter, just so long as I could get him to give me a baby.

            I marched out to the stacks of hay off to the side of the park. He lingered behind, checking for any curious eyes.

            When the coast was clear, I pleasantly learned that the witch had not taken everything away from me. I still had a particular skillset that I’d spent years perfecting.

            Elliot seemed to enjoy himself well enough. And I felt the best that I had since the curse, striding with pride. Even the thought that I might be pregnant couldn’t harm my mood.

            I parted ways with the man, no longer having use for him, and wandered the park for a bit. I ignored all the stares and glares, knowing that I was one step closer to being better than everyone in that hick town combined. As a memento, I picked another flower before heading back to my shed. It smelled sweeter than the rest.

Sundries and Elixirs

            A phone call woke me early in the morning on Leisure Day. My first thoughts were of the witch taunting me. Instead, the familiar voice of Dr. Allison greeted me. She asked for me to meet her at the city hall immediately. Perhaps she simply wanted me to work on the holiday. I would not have minded, since I needed extra simoleons for a proper chair.

            My boss hadn’t wanted me to work. She had wanted to be present while I received an award from some government desk jockey. Apparently capturing fifteen spirits was enough to illicit an oversized trophy.

            When my award stared back at me in my two-walled shack, I tried to muster up some kind of pride. I’d won many more prestigious acclimations though. I suppose it was better than nothing, but I would have preferred a love-struck idiot to shut the witch up.

            Since I still had the day off, I decided to investigate a shop. I’d overheard of it from a chattering trophy wife while ridding her house of a spirit infestation. She had called it a potion store, and from the internet I learned it was named Aleister's Elixirs and Sundries. I hoped to be able to find something to take care of my horrid curse in there.

            The store was just as gaudy and bizarre as I imagined it would be.

            “You look like you could use my help. What can I do ya for?” the clerk called at me. I wanted to be out of my monstrous body, so I quickly told her my story, not caring if she thought I was crazy or lying.

            A look of concern came over her face. “I don’t think any of my wares will do ya any good. Sounds like you got yourself in mighty deep with a real witch.”

“What?” I screeched. “Don’t you have some kind of curse-breaking potion?”

“Nothing can put an end to a custom created deal except the desired outcome or the creator. I’d point you to a beauty elixir, but I doubt it’d work. They put a whole lot of love and time into curses to make sure they can’t be cheated.”

“Well what am I supposed to do?”

“Whatever they want you to. Or you could try appealing to them, but, looking at your face, I doubt you’re on friendly enough terms.”

I bit my lip to hold in irritated tears, ready to turn around and storm out. The clerk took this as an opportunity to pedal more of her stupid potions and other junk. She rattled off her inventory, naming skill boosters and herbs.

“I’ve got in a few jars of potent friendship too. That’s always a good seller.”

            That last one caught my attention. I could use it to aid in my fruitless quest to land a man. She told me the price, a hundred and twenty simoleons more than I had, and I scratched my head. There was one way I could quickly get the difference.

            It needed to be done. I didn’t want to waste months on trying to win over some man. I gathered up most of my comforting spirits and whisked down to Dr. Allison.

            The clerk did not seem surprised when I returned later in the day to purchase one of the instant friendship potions.